Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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