if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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