Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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