i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
