Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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