He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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