Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
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And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
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She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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