i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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