i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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