If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
