I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize