You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
