That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The power of my boobs compel you
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
