Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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