I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
