My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
