Just cropdusted the office
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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