I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
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Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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