i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
