If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
There was a lot of him and a little penis
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
