someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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