I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
