would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
