I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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