He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
