If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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