stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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