Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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