i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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