why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
