why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
