There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
