i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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