You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
