See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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