Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
