No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
