Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who died my cat blue again?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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