i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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