remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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