Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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