in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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