I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
