wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
