Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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