So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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