hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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