i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
