he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
