okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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