I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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