No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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