i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
