She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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