I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
