she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
And then the night went full on bisexual.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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